Posts Tagged ‘Marriage’

Alot of people seem to either not know or forget that their spouse is family. Even more family than your mother or siblings. The bond spouses have is more sacred and linked than that of those we actually share same DNA with.

You might say “yea yea we all know this”. I say NO, you don’t! You find people treating their husband or wife with so much contempt. Almost like an employee that a favour is being done for, so whatever crap is dished should be received as a privilege. 

People have terrible, useless, shameful siblings yet they would defend, fight for and protect that sibling. But go home and get upset and practically threaten to move out because there is toothpaste on the sink, an empty milk carton was left in the fridge, there are dirty dishes in the sink…you name it. 

If spouses sit and actually think about what marriage truly is, there would be a highly reduced rate of divorces. Marriage isn’t dating. You don’t pack up and move on because things are tough. Things are tough everywhere, in every relationship you would encounter challenges because every individual is an embodiment of diverse qualities and exposures. 

You know how years after a couple have been together they start looking like each other, this is because they have given part of themselves to  their spouse. They even start sounding alike. 

So how is it possible that people are willing to hide a corpse for their parents or siblings but find it so hard to tolerate, be kind to, support, show compassion to a part of themselves in the form of a spouse. 

We run around screaming “I Love You” when it is all rosy and flame is burning hot. Love isn’t a feeling, that tingly thing you feel isn’t the “love”. Love can only be expressed through actions and words, leading to an equal and opposite reaction  (well most of the time). 

Marriage on the other hand is a sense of duty. You do things because it is expected of you. You act a certain way because this person is a part of you. So When making decisions in marriage concerning your spouse, make it with the awareness of the decision being about you because you and your spouse are the same person. Do this and I promise you, you will lead a happy life, even in the midst of challenges.

Xoxo

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I genuinely would like to know as that is how long I have not blogged.So feel free to pop into the comment section and share.

As for me, it’s been an interesting 3 years. Let me give a summary in this post and expand further in other posts.

I have been pregnant, had a baby (who is turning 2 years on Monday), been a stay-at-home-mum, started a business, lost my social life and counted every pound in my  account daily  šŸ˜.

Wow! I actually summarised my last 3 years in a sentence.

It’s been a challenging yet productive couple of years. I have found myself missing my youthful days alot. Found myself wondering if things would be better if I made different choices. Found myself feeling lost and alone despite the amazing family I have. I have panicked about my future. Wondered If it’s too late to achieve some dreams. Looked in the mirror and not felt pretty; trust me I never had to worry about my looks almost all my life till recently. 

In summary, I have had to grow up a lot in the last 3 years. Sit back and enjoy the ride as I break it down for you. From marriage, to pregnancy, being a mum, starting a business, getting conscious about my looks, need for validation, loneliness, fear of failure….relationship with the world and the people in it. You name it.

Feels great to be back!šŸ˜‰

There is a reason why your spouse should be your best friend.

People have best friends because they need that one person that will always be there for them no matter what. In reality such a person doesn’t exist. It would be great for such a person to exist, but we have accepted the ideology of creating something close in a person which we refer to as “best friend”.

After living in this world for a reasonable number of years, you realise that because someone is your perfect friend this moment does not translate in the person being there for you forever. People outgrow some friends, some just get estranged, others get weird and someĀ  hardship of life gets to them. That innocent friendship once developed is quickly forgotten and the person becomes “someone you used to know”.

It is easy to struggle to say you don’t want to forget a friend, especially one that you have so much history with. But it is not completely in your hands to avoid broken relationships. You are just one factor in the relationship, your desire is not going to be the final result.

Why should your spouse be your best friend? Simple, when you marry a person, it is because you love each other and have chosen to spend the rest of your life with the person. Giving your soul and body to the person as marriage means becoming one with your spouse. So your spouse being your best friend translates to you trusting yourself. Trust the one person who has your best interest. Trusting the one person you would return home to after a long day. Trusting the one person you would procreate with. Trusting the one person you have to tolerate for the rest of your life. Trusting the one person whose success automatically translates to your success. Trusting the one person you consciously chose on earth to bond with.

Marriages are not seen to be this committed in this new generation as spouses no longer consider marriage a covenant,Ā  this is a topic for another day…

Become best friends with your spouse today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

We’ve heard opposite attracts, similar interests attracts, we’ve also heard when there’s a spark; what is the “spark” or what is “chemistry”?

What do you actually think makes a good couple. By good couple I do not mean there wouldn’t be arguments or disagreements because that is just mission impossible. People will always have different opinions and reactions concerning pleasures and issues of life. So if you need no issues at all, just decide to be alone forever.

Over the years I’ve experienced as well as been the observer of relationships to come to the conclusion that there isn’t a particular formula for achieving a good relationship.

Some things are constant though, and that is both parties having a common interest on where the relationship is heading to and why they are in it, which is mostly long-term to marriage or just a “fling” which never ends well anyway because one person ends up wanting more. Therefore long-term to marriage is the given.

The second thing is love. I’m not referring to the tingly feeling in the stomach or the excitement you feel when your partner is around or when you think of the person. All that isn’t love. Love isn’t about you as the individual. It’s completely about the other person. Your partners’ happiness, comfort and what is good for the person. Love isn’t selfish. Once you do or say something is relation to how it’ll affect you, you’ve lost the battle of having a good relationship.