Short Story: Send Me The Bill

Posted: June 6, 2013 in Lyrics and Words
Tags: , ,

I was a ticking time bomb, unsure of how many more days, hours, minutes or seconds were left before I exploded but fully aware that zero was fast approaching. On the outside, I was calm because that was all I knew how to be; to the world, Mike was always poised. I hid my internal chaos well but she was slowly ripping through the fabric of composure I had been weaving intricately for decades.

She was bad for me but like a drug, I just could not get enough of her. I spent most of our relationship here; at the intersection of anger and misery. Her tongue was venomous and words inflicted poisonous wounds that might never heal. Ours was a toxic relationship and still I stayed, making excuses for her behaviour, pretending that my cowardice was actually remnants of medieval chivalry. I was pathetic and if I really was honest I’d admit that she just might be the spawn of Satan.

About that time bomb, it was about to go off in five, four, three, two, one.

“Shut up Carla!”

“Do you ever shut up?” I asked my stunned fiancée. She wore way too much makeup, I thought, something I never really noticed before.

“Mike be very careful,” she warned, her tone icy.

“Or you would what?” I asked. “Humiliate me in front of our friends? Yell like a rabid dog? Hit me perhaps?” These were her specialties. And the yell-hit- and-humiliate-in-front-of-our-friends-combo was a true delight.

“Oh God, the baby,” she said grabbing her stomach. Oh of course, I forgot about that one. The baby. That was the newest line added to this scene. She used that word to get just about anything these days. I would not lie, I felt a pang of worry but then I had to remember this whole performance was to make me look bad and to garner sympathy.

I threw my napkin on the table. I had seen enough.

“Where are you going?” She asked as I stood up to leave the table, all eyes now on me.

“Away from you and this drama.”

“I am leaving you Carla. Forever.” There, I said it. Finally. And it felt so good!

“Let’s talk about this later.” She was being sweeter about this than usual. She could see my resolve; she knew I was not kidding this time.

“There’s nothing to talk about. I’m done with you and this charade of love.” I had to get out before somehow she made me stay and maybe even marry her tonight.

“Oh my God,” she started crying again, lifting her hand to her trembling lips. “What about the baby?” She asked, her voice barely a whisper.

“Send me the bill.” And with that I walked out of my toxic relationship.




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